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Iapos;ve had some serious headache for the whole weekend. Today it was pretty bad, and I decided to stay home and avoid taking the medication that I would have had to take if I wanted to be functional.

Strangely enough, working on my site was still something I could do, while reading was too painful. I suppose itapos;s the kind of intellectual exercise that keeps me distracted from the pain, while trying to concentrate on less entertaining things doesnapos;t work as well.

I am also happy with the fact that, although I have to re-learn CSS every time, I still manage to get the logic of it after a bit.

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I got 1-3 hours of sleep lastnight...


I hate my life.... I want to curl up under my desk and take like a coma (That would be about 100 hours)...


Today I hope to write anywhere from 2,000-4,000 words... I NEED�to write that much I donapos;t want to be like that one teacher on Saturday that was like "I have been working on my 2 books for 5 years" uhhhhhhh if it took me five years to finish this book I would shoot myself....


I�also want to make videos but if I have spare time and I am not writing I feel like I am slacking... Soooo nothing on the video front either right now.... :0( Poop.


Oh and lastnights episode of True Blood was good (I still liked "Sparks Fly Out" best because of Lafayettes AIDS burger scene... Nothing can top that)... And If you donapos;t want to wait to know if Bill died in that fire....or why Sam was running around�naked... Just read Dead Until Dark�

Off to do some work for a bit then write

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Especially since I have an appointment to meet at 11 am. :P�

Night shift blows.

Anyhow, I thought Iapos;d give a little update on something I havenapos;t touched on in awhile.

Axel Katt.

No, no... Heapos;s fine, donapos;t worry.�

Itapos;s just that heapos;s started to chill a teeny bit.� Heapos;s still my annoying kitty.� Seperation anxiety will do that to a cat, you know... And my having to leave he and Jinks alone for 10 days shortly after I�adopted him was no help in that arena, I�know.� But heapos;s not so strident anymore. �

I wonder if heapos;s depressed sometimes (and I�have seen kitty depression in Jinks... It does happen.)� But he seems happy enough.� Heapos;s not gaining weight, he holds his body in a relaxed manner... He goes out and hunts (at least I think he does... Itapos;s hard to tell who to credit the dead fauna that gets left on the porch or walkway you know...)� So I apos;m not overly worried.�

Really more what I�notice is a sense of him being more relaxed and at ease with things.� Heapos;ll sleep on the couch beside you rather than insisting on sleeping ON�you.� He is slightly less yowly. (Although he wonapos;t ever be the reticent cat Jinks is... But no cat can be Jinks, so itapos;s unfar to hold Axel to that standard, really.)� And the most shocking of all: he will tolerate being brushed... And actually seems to enjoy it some.

See, for the last year brushing day with Axel has been a traumatic thing for the both of us.� For me because I have to scruff him and force him to endure something he obviously despised.� For him because he would spend the entire session (usually no longer than 5 or so minutes total) growling, screetching and trying to escape.� (Necessitating the use of the scruff maneuver.)�
I tried everything to acclimate him: kind words, patience, even cat sedative... Nothing worked.�

Now, if it were Jinks, Iapos;d just let it go.� Jinks has fairly light fur and since itapos;s dark it can be mildly annoying as it builds up on my white couch... But itapos;s not terribly troublesome (except to Bill... And only really if he has to spend 24/7 around it.� Keeping the cats out of the bedroom and keeping a stock of allergy medication seems to have helped this part of it some... And when Bill returns to the care of an allergist, the problem will eventually resolve Iapos;m told.)� But Axel has a very thick coat.� A coat which featured (up until very recently at least) coarse "guard hairs" on the outer layer of his fur.� With his being a white cat... All that undercoat gets everywhere.� And with our wardrobes being mostly dark-colored it makes regular brushing a necessity.� Even if only an irregular one.

Two weeks or so ago I decided it was time to attempt to brush Axel again.� He was relaxed, sleeping on the couch and I thought that it was as good a time as any to attempt it.�

I was shocked to find that he didnapos;t even wake up, he just started to purr sleepily.� And let me brush him for a good ten minutes before I decided I had pushed it enough for one day.�
Iapos;ve been able to brush him at least once or twice a week since that day.� And while he doesnapos;t think itapos;s the next best thing to catnip or anything, heapos;ll purr and tolerate it for a good ten to fifteen minutes before he decides heapos;s done and moves away to grab a nibble or sleep on our shoes (which we usually kick off just inside the front door to keep the pine needles from taking over our living room carpet.� Itapos;s a spot right in front of the main heat register in the living room, and I�think he likes to feel close to us.)

In the year and a half since I adopted Axel, I�had despaired of him ever gaining the semi-aloofness that most catapos;s share.� I had almost resigned myself to having another Merlin around (except this version didnapos;t come with the added bonus of scratching himself bloody due to a flea allergy - thank goodness for that.)� A "Merlin v3.0" if you will.���

Now, I originally got Axel with Jinkapos;s welfare in mind.� Jinks was pining for company when I was gone travelling with AACO... He would overeat and mope while I�was gone, and when I�got back he would be intolerable.� This was not surprising, as he had never been the solo cat ever.� So, I adopted Axel. �
Eventually, Jinks will die as all pets do.� And this will be hard on me.� I love Jinks with all my heart.� And while I�love Axel too, it was never the same as what I felt for Jinks.� Axel as a replacement for Jinks after Jinks passes away was not really a heartening prospect, I�am sorry to say. �
Until recently, that is.
Lately, as I have noticed the change in Axelapos;s demeanor I�find myself more drawn to him.� Even bonding with him a bit. �And this has made me very happy.�� Living with a pet you havenapos;t bonded with is a sad and unfortunate state for both you and the pet...

So, in closing, I give you the new Axel Katt. :)




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Waterslide

To dream that you are on or see a waterslide, suggests that you are being swept away by your emotions. You are slowly exploring the realm of your unconscious. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are going with the flow of things without any objections or resistance.


in my dream last night, i was staring at all these waterslides FOREVER, and they were scaring me and i didnapos;t want to ride them even though that would never happen in real life. I love all waterslides.



this is so weird. MY DREAMS ARE SERIOUSLY TELLING THINGS AND I DONapos;T LIKE IT.

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Today was a momentous occasion: we turned on the heat for the first time this season. Canapos;t believe it; weapos;re two weeks from Halloween, which means just barely over a month to Thanksgiving I can has X-mas, please? Tree...lights...presents...wrapping paper...FOOD.... All sorts of delightful things. Who cares about any sort of religious side to it? Thatapos;s just the excuse I think Christmas will survive beyond Christianity, since it survived Paganism to begin with. Bah Itapos;s all about the pretty I dreamed last night that it was snowing, but it was a weird sort of snow, where in fact every flake was different, but they were all about the size of a silver dollar and you really could catch them and study them; they looked like the kind you see in cartoons or something, flat and shiny. Kinda like ninja throwing stars.

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�

You Would Be a Good Spouse 50 of the Time

In general, you have the skills and ability to make a marriage work. However, youapos;re still a bit too selfish to be a good spouse. You almost always put yourself first. If you want to have a good marriage (either someday or right now), youapos;re going to have to give more than you take. Be proactive every day. Work on being a good friend, family member, and partner. With practice, youapos;ll be an excellent spouse.

fuck marriage... Right up the ass


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Because last night was too lovely to sleep.
Greyhound-Firefly.
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